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Suddenly remembered "FRIENDS" + updates

2012-02-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

Suddenly remembered some high school friends..........

How some.. we "were" close and things happened, and we walk our own ways up till today. Too lazy to go into the details to point out who's right or wrong. But yeah, actually sad part is Im quite blurred what happened because I was out of the picture when those "things" happened. Only heard them after the "events"... well, of course i am no random actor, i have parts on some little ones i guess, but yet, not big enough to be the BOMB.

But yeah, it's quite sad how these things made us not even friends in facebook !! I AM VERY SAD ON THIS MATTER. The power of small things, how they matter to some people, well, I pray that now they know, life has more to it. When death comes near, nothing can stop it........

How some... we were NEVER close, but somewhat wish the best for each other... I dont know how to explain this feeling for these kinda friends ......

How some.... we became close after high school !! this is such a miracle part.

How some... we still keep in touch now and then...

How some... I would say.. Never Better !

I miss my high school life, but living once of it is good enough... it's the most difficult part of social life vs family life role.

If I have a chance to go through it(high school) again right now, I would did what I have done, because I know if i hadnt do those, I am not respecting my previous decision and also, do more than what I have done, in order to experience that once in a life time experience.

hope this picture helps..

Taken from facebook, the most popular photo now, i remembered ages ago was the boy whose death was awaited by the bird to be eaten.

I think this is my passion now, im passionate about those who can have a month's meal with my AUD$20. So Im donating $20 a month to "Compassion" Paradise Church foundation....... and also considering sponsoring a child through World Vision after looking at this picture.

And yeah ANOTHER AND FINAL UPDATE.

Jennifer is finally looking for potential boyfriends!! TOP 3 things

1 HUMOUR !! OMG, please have almost the same humour.. not too much or too little. we must laugh together !! sincerely !
2 Looks delightful from me eyes... these very hard to measure. hahaha.
3 Can be my play mate. I love sports, board games, computer games, all sorts of games... must be by my side..esp. when i need you ok? So those who works at the sea for 3 months, super rock star that goes on tours for 365 days a year is off the list. HAHA.

xoxo J

Jennifer

2012-01-30T22:57:00.000+08:00

Has a sad life.

最痛苦的眼泪

2012-01-04T18:16:00.001+08:00

你可知道，最痛苦的眼泪是什么声音吗。。。。

第一滴，它是安静的。。。

从第二滴开始，它是不停的，哀怨着。

last day of 2011

2011-12-31T16:33:00.002+08:00

Yes, last day of 2011. Time of reflection and resolution.

Indeed, 2011 is a year of changes.

1. I finally dyed my hair to pink and goldish blonde.

2. I have my driver's license

3. I moved to Adelaide

4. Switched course

5. Drove a car at most times

6. moved 3 times this year

7. changed church - determines my friends

8. starting going ocf

9. got a new laptop and many new clothes.

10. Got a part time job.

I am not sure are these good or bad ones. But life has been so far so good.

I want to live a better life, dear God please help me....

I want a pharmacy degreee ......... sooo badly.

resolution of 2012.

Pharmacy degree !!!

eat pray love

have a bf

dont be such a lonesome person

learn to forgive and forget.

2012 I have to welcome although i dont want to, cause i will be one year older...

xoxox J

怎么办

2011-11-16T19:56:00.001+08:00

我还爱你。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

havent been active

2011-10-27T22:15:00.002+08:00

Hi dear blog. didnt talk to you for a long time. Guessed i must have been busy with new friends and stuffs. so much for new place new resolution, i only got 2 D and a HD last semester. which leave my gpa in a 5.75 stage. I do not know it is good or bad now. I seriously think it is impossible to get 2 HD or this sem 2 subjects. although there are only 2 subjects @@

Well. My secret new job :P which my family in labuan must not know about is going so far so good. But the pay is pretty low, should i get a new job in november/december when all students fly back home and i can steal their spot. I want a job that has a pay of at least 15 per hour. please dear God. Not in the same place/tea tree plaza can ady. Let me work in macdonalds so i can get higher pay. And also please bless my boss so that she lets me go with a peaceful heart. Although i know she is really good to me but pay me 10 per hour only :( in long term that would not work, as she say the pay might increase to 12 only. where as in mcd the starting pay is 15 already. 3x20x4= $240 that is the difference you can get in a month, 10 months n that is $2400 where i can get a new laptop already. Please dear God, i need higher pay.

Hope it gets answered soon.

That's my biggest concern recently other than studies. 2 HD @.@ IN UNISA AND SAIBT ... Do you know how hard to get HD 85% WHICH IS LIKE you can only -15% throughout the course. OMGOSH.

xoxo J

Dear blog

2011-09-19T23:17:00.001+08:00

Haih. I seriously don't know what my future holds. But I hope everything will be good. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Jennifer

Boy & Bear - The Storm (live acoustic on Big Ugly Yellow Couch)

2011-08-30T23:42:00.000+08:00

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr7ZEm5Nf7c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Jennifer

what to do when encountered by stranger Jennifer style

2011-08-28T21:49:00.001+08:00

Ok. i am writing this in email...

So today a weird guy using an australian ascent but obviously he's not aussie... came and talk to me while i am walking home at about 11pm. He uses the aussie type of talking to try and persuade me to give me his number. Well, do i call myself easy to get or what because i gave him my number and e-mail.

There are certain rules i would say if you met someone like that... ok before i start, i just want to say the only reason i gave him was to bring him to know Christ. So i booked his sunday for church/church lunch lol.

Rule #1 NEVER CONSUME/USE ANYTHING GIVEN. Ok he gave me a candy, although it is wrapped in a packet and so on. still, be cautious ladies and guys. DO NOT EAT. Just in case there is any weird thing being injected which u cant see, it might be drug? Same goes to the club, do not consume any drinks given by random guys IF IT IS NOT POURED IN FRONT OF YOU. Yes, i remembered someone offered me before, and i kindly rejected, he left it on the table and left, but I DID NOT TOUCH IT. I GLAD I DID NOT, IN CASE I REGRET.

Rule #2 FOR EVANGELISM PURPOSE, THEN DO IT IN A GROUP. NEVER GO SOLO. yes NEVER EVER SOLO MAN. THAT IS INSANE TO DO SO. JUST IN CASE, NO MATTER HOW nice is he/she, never never to a TOTAL STRANGER.

Rule #3 JUST BACK OFF IF YOU SEE SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION HIM/HER. Yeah, but seriously do not talk to stranger if possible , WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THAT.

#END

Actually, i am not as afraid as before when meeting strangers Well, most important after the the giving out homeless bags to strangers. I learnt that, homeless people are not as scary if they are not taking things from you. Or if they ask nicely. Yeah, by now i think i can accept strangers asking me, although i still freak out a little bit, but not as scary anymore.

BUT THIS ONLY APPLIES TO ADELAIDE AUSTRALIA. LOL. IF MALAYSIA, IF POSSIBLE, JUST IGNORE ALL STRANGERS!! LOL.

God bless, AMEN.

Lol. This is my weekly journal to write before class. =.=

2011-08-24T06:18:00.000+08:00

Today we were divided into our groups to discuss the video on psychosis. Many of us did our research at home and brought it to class. We watches the video in class again in class then split into groups.

During the discussion, as many did the homework, it went smoothly. However, there is a groupmate that did not contribute much although he watched the video already at home. He knew he was "spacing off" but still did not. We all know he is fasting and going through a hard time. Although I understand, it is still not right to not contribute anything throughout the discussion. That is a personal problem and he should find a way to get over it.

The guy that usually did not contribute, however, finally made some changes. He did a good job in finding out all the points.

I think the team leader(self appointed) as she always acts like one is a bit over the roof. She does not really listen to points and ideas given by others but always insist hers only. And also because she was close with the guy that "spaces off" she did not confronted him. Which is a little bit unfair. But I only silently watched everything going while doing the discussion.

Jennifer

I must be crazy

2011-08-22T22:18:00.001+08:00

But you can't deny Ang mo are so good looking. Especially those independent, rich, nice hearted and HANDSOME.

Little little crush!!! Omgosh feel like a teenager.. xD

haih

2011-08-13T11:35:00.002+08:00

Just finished the online comics ~ love story LAGI.

they two so sweet xD can be together for high school whole 6 years then graduate straight away get married...

i like happy endings :) although it looks really hard to be like that...

but if each other know and is able to go through what it takes. nothing is impossible. xD

they got play basketball also hahaha then got musics ~ wee both my fav.

xoxo Jennifer

yeah

2011-08-13T01:13:00.000+08:00

I have closed down the public thingy for my blog..

only previous readers that i know can read... HAHAHa

INCLUDES MICH, VIZ AND RON RON ONLY.

YOU CAN REQUEST IF YOU WANA READ :P

Lazy to update

2011-08-05T22:46:00.001+08:00

I will make this short.. Haha I'm so lazy... Well I'm writing trough email.. Highlight of the times I'm away is I bought a laptop @.@ a mini one la.. Second hand but in very good condition. Thank God for that.. Hehe.. Dell inspiron mini 10 inch.. All I can say its a good buy.. The seller seems to be in need money.. He really likes it until the end.. But too bad it's mine now :p he not only installed original Microsoft starter.. Upgraded to 2gb RAM too.. Only thing that is I wanted a red one but it's black.. For a new one it's $500+extra $ upgrade .. But I got that for half priced :)

2nd news is that I saw hello kitty swavorski .. Feel like buying again.. $245 !! But laptop made me pokkai ady :(

Unless.. Related to 3rd news.. I'm moving on 2nd week of September.. Unless I move to that really cheap place ... But have to share dorm toilets, kitchen and no oven.. Hmm :(( but it's really cheap !!! I also Duno how... If not.. I just find cheaper(still expensive) place in city and see how it goes.. Current rent is too expensive !!!! Almost $300 per week !! :p It's $300+ if add Internet and electric.. O.o last time my home in perth only $130 per week lor.. It's like 2.5 times the price...

4th news is I got assignment due Monday..

5th is I'm officially learning guitar :))

6th is I'm super busy !!!! For nights.. Every 1,3,4,5,6 nights I'm booked !! All is church activities.. But alternate 6 nights I'm free.. Means in a week.. Other than class on 123 morning.. I only have Sunday and tueDay night as free time @.@

7th I'm still lookin for job!! Not only I didn't get one.. I'm getting busier with Gods activities..

8th I made mango cheesecake for my friends birthday last night...

That's all.. About my news..

Jennifer

finding accommodation until my head want burst

2011-07-26T03:16:00.003+08:00

HAIH !!! STUPID ... lol

ok actually i found a few... but if it's not too expensive, then it's too far from city(Uni in city) or the lease is not ok...

my lease ends on 17 September but mostly wants to rent out NOW... or 1/8 BUT BUT i scare.. if 31/8 then find cant get any home and will be homeless on the street @.@ OR that i wont get a GOOD home if i move in too late.

GOD BLESS ME.

lol doing my assignmentSSSSS today 8.30am(in class homework-contribute marks to assignment) due tomorrow 8.30am due(1.5k words, i wrote 500 words only 1k more) then...... next week due one more....... free for a while then presentation then before you know it... its end of year with all small tests and assignments(2K WORDS) AND FINAL EXAM !

wow

xoxo J

disgusted !!

2011-07-24T16:49:00.006+08:00

I cant take it anymore. If possible, i dont want to go to the club anymore.

So the story was.... I just went to Chloe's birthday party just to taste what it's like to be in a korean style birthday party ~

It was great at first when we were just eating, chatting, little bit drinking, blow cake... wee ~ then the next stop was a club.....Ok before that, the last game in the first venue was to drink from a bowl of mixed alcohol ... its such a korean thing... there was wine, plus all sorts of beers AND AND AND FOOOD !! OMGOSH HE POURED THE SAUSAGE AND FRIES IN THE BOWL AS WELL. but it was such a korean experience, i think i saw this before in some movies...HAHAHA. DISGUSTING. and the bowl was to pass around and everyone drinks as much as (How much do u love the birthday girl. you would drink as much) the first round is still ok as he didnt add food first... but later he added all the FOODS AND WEIRD THINGS INTO THE BOWL O.O

Oh yeah and i tried the korean 烈酒 Seju.. oh well it was nothing... surprisingly... i checked and it was 19.5% only.. hahahaha...the wonder that korean dude said normally he drinks 2 bottle. i thought it was 40% or something...

P.S. A LOT OF HOT korean girls and guys there... wooot ... esp 1 Erica- nice face and body. 2 Crystal-nice body too ~ and 3 eugene- very korean look and pretty.. not to forget chole has a nice body too ~

Hot guys too !! Rayna's Boyfriend is SO HANDSOME ... HE SO CUTE OMGosh... he looks like lee min ho xD .. but he's her boyfren so he didnt really join us.... :/ and he's taken anyways

Ok now the next stop. CLUB ! O.O i WASNT SUPPOSE TO GO !!!! i was suppose to go home after the first venue.....to do assignment !!! but but... this girl, KATE ~ a taiwan girl talks to me in chinese and we kinda made friends....... and she asked me to go so....so.... i did =.= totally regretting it....... i went.. a little bit crazy on dancing ... ok i admitted it..... which i shouldnt =.= but with all the HOT KOREAN GIRLS ~ ok, im enjoying it................

ok the disgusting part.... he cheated.. wait wait, before that... IM SO HAPPY FINALLY SOMEONE BOUGHT ME DRINKS IN A CLUB HAHAHAHA. 3 !! i got 3 alcohols ~ wee ~ finally.. no one every bought for me.. cause last time i went with stingy frens... i think hong kong and koreans are more generous on money...

Ok there were 2 hong kong guys.. one was very nice to me.. the other went crazy... yeah both of them each bought me a drink for the night... the first one cause he was nice so i just said thank you............ and and the second one... i ii.... he's high and thats it. hahaha. dont ask me what drunk guys do i dont know+dont want to know, but he made my day bad. zaza.

ok that was basically the only spoiler of the night.... TEEHEE. all the korean ladies are so hot... the guys although only one hot one but others look very korean-ish and handsome too ~ they know how to dress up VERY WELL, nice hairstyle+nice korean looks+dance with you+not stingy !!! :D im loving korean guys but....... these are just nice to "CUCI MATA" ONLY....

back to reality is... i like quiet guys + dont smoke + dont drink too much(wines still ok)+dont really like clubbing + moderation + a bit shy still ok...+ etc....

xoxo J

harry potter, you will be missed forever !!!

2011-07-20T20:58:00.002+08:00

everything has to come to an end. :(( sad sad sad !!!! all my teenage memory is wasted in this movie ! but i dont regret at all because the ending was AWESOME !!!!

I USED TO LOVE YOU, NOW I LOVE YOU MORE HARRY =) <3 <3

xoxo J is crazy about POTTER NOW

SPOILER ALERT , DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED...

我果然没有看错你！！！professor snape :) i was like thinking.. are u really bad? are u gona be good in the end?????????? it turns out that... you are always good. and forever good. :) you seriously made an impact !! because when you betrayed harry i was pretty angry and sad with you. but whenever i saw you i dont know why i cant be that angry nor sad. you're the best. :)) THANK GOD YOU DIDNT LET ME DOWN.

SPOILER ENDED ***

SAYING THIS FOR THE LAST TIME

Harry potter, the boy who lived.

I still can recall the first time i watched harry potter in book 1 movie. IT WAS AWESOME. the memory and feelings are just great !!!!

the movie didnt let me down too :)

Created

2011-07-16T23:02:00.001+08:00

God created sadness to let you know how does it feel like to be happy.

God created tiredness to let you know that you are alive and well each and everyday.

God created mountains to let you know 一山还有一山高.

God created obesity to let you know you can't have everything (clothes/food/anything la)

God created love so that you can have someone to take care of you.

God created human.. So what? I have googled and have much thoughts on it. Because he created us so we have no rights to question Him as we chose to have knowledge and sin against Him. But one fact is God created our soul for His pleasure in one breath.

Sent from my iPhone

Living alone

2011-07-13T00:29:00.000+08:00

I think it feels great staying alone. @.@

Although having good housemates is also fun..

But staying alone.. You can do whatever you want. No need to care what others think. No need to wash/cook many stuffs..
No need to listen to anyone.. No need to think so much !!!

I'm enjoying it... But. Should I continue it... Hmm...

Sent from my iPhone

you know what

2011-07-08T10:03:00.000+08:00

im lazy... super lazy to just even step a foot out of my room...........

it's so cold and rainy and wet...... can i just stay at home today... xD

I NEED WANT A JOB NOW !!!!

xoxo J

being - Phlegmatic --> Golden Retriever, Intuitor, Harmony

2011-07-08T01:42:00.001+08:00

Quite true about me.... esp coloured ones... i have no idea since when i became phlegmatic.. i used to be sanguine i guess.. it changes after years.. or mayb not.

Positive Attributes: Sympathetic, kind, calm, inoffensive, dry humor, low key, peaceful, agreeable, pleasant, responsible, ethical, listens, balanced, watcher, relaxed, empathetic, romantic, mystical, nurturing, flexible, tolerant, thoughtful, adaptable, contemplative, deep.

At Work: Teaches, patient, diplomatic, mediates, mentors, counsels, good with people, administrative, mediation, paced, reliable, loyal, steady, stable, follows through, status quo, predictable, politically correct, competent.

Negative Attributes: Abstract, idealistic, shy, hides emotions, avoids conflict, fearful, unenthusiastic, quiet will of iron, judges, sarcastic, selfish, low energy, passive, dislikes change, distant, skeptical, undemonstrative, paranoid, self deprecating, impractical, slow to act, lazy,

Wants Others To: Stay calm, be courteous, seek meaning, trust them, value them, spend time with them, not rush them, give advanced warning of change, give them time to reflect, respect their boundaries, relate authentically, allow them to get used to things.

Well Known Phlegmatics: Obi-wan Kenobi, Mohandas Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Schweitzer, Carl Rogers, Margaret Mead, Charles Dickens,

one thing i didnt realise is... im good at administrative work... HMMM !!

i dont know why cant edit my posts these days... zz i mean as in colour change or font.. after i edit, IT WONT SHOW ... =.=

7月8号

2011-07-07T22:02:00.001+08:00

对，没课了

所以说，可以不拿physio了

哈哈

也对，这一天，也是当年的那一天。

八年了吧。

明天会去海边看你的

我记得去年的这一天，

我像平常天那样过，因为有更重要的责任在等我。

cell group 啊。

那天我应该是需要准备晚餐还是歌吧，

还是有课。。。。

而且那一年，伤口恢复的最好的一年了。

心没那么痛。

可是我心知道，

我有想你一下下，

也知道，

这一天的晚上，

你走了，

走到很远的地方等我。

我想，在天上过日子比这里一定更好，

我也很想去，

可是日子一天一天的过，

我还是在这里，

飞不上去。。。

我曾经想过，

直接飞上去算了，

可是后来知道，

根本就没有这个办法，

因为我不是神。

自杀也是杀人啊，

飞不上去。

只能耐心等。

虽然最痛苦的那时候，

很想一了百了，

还好最后还是选择耐心的等那一天。

希望，

有一年，我写关于你的时候，

心不会这么痛就够了。

爱你咯

xoxo j

人在江湖

2011-07-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

对，人在江湖，生不由己。

虽然也不是过得不好，可是难免会想起以前一起过的美好日子。

在大家有男友之前，一直可以做好朋友。可以24小时 be there. 我觉得很快乐。

可是，另外一点就是，你永远不知道你想的人有没有想你。不过，out of yes or no there's always 50% chance of yes n 50% no. And I'm willing to take that 50% risk.

以前多好，多坏。都是过去的回忆了，人总要学会往前看。好的我不后悔，因为我珍惜过了，坏的也不后悔因为我看开了也经验过了。

Xoxo - cheers to 美好未来

Sent from my iPhone

Cam whoring

2011-07-02T22:08:00.001+08:00

Well I stayed at home whole day today. :p

Oh yeah again

2011-06-30T08:24:00.000+08:00

So I was so busy talking bout my problems and I forgot to say what exciting stuffs did Liz and I did :D

We went to find a job !!!! Hhahahahaha!! Which was quite fun ~ seeing people rejecting us and have to fake a smile back and say thank you ~ we asked at least 10 shops.... Maybe 15+?? and finally only 7 resumes was given away ~ wow it's so hard... So like Liz said we are just gona wait .. Patiently!!!! For any phone calls ~ :D

Well This Mayb the first time I mentioned Liz to you !! Normally I talk about a new person, I would introduce him/her. Well Liz is from china short tiny thin girl~ living with 2 guys in a far away train stop hahaha. I keep forgetting her hometown name despite the fact she mentioned it at least 10 times by now o.o

And yeah she came by to help me clean my room fee days ago.. Not specially came but things happened and she just kindly help-ed hehe :)

Upload our picture when im on my computer. Well... I hope we get the same job and almost the same time ~ God bless us :D

Xoxo j 频道

Sent from my iPhone

i smiled :)

2011-06-29T20:42:00.002+08:00

I smiled at most times because i know what's it like to be sad.

Just like E posted on fb "Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence."

And i feel sad now because i know what its like to be happy. Happy to know how foolish i am to think that i can change you, haha, im not God for goodness sake. If u want to mock me, disrupt me... go ahead. it's not me who suffer in the end. I took pity on you when you came to me... and thats what you do ~~ talk talk talk all the nonsense. Kinda reminds me of highschool.

CHILDISH ! GROW UP U R 20 !!! hello?

Foolishness indeed. I shall care no more other than writing it down here and talking to God. sad news is that ur christian too............. now i understand when someone told me it's christian that hurts you the most when they sinned against you. yes, we love the same God, but our hearts are different. Yours is full of jealousy, hatred and pain. Mine is full of sadness, gratitude and GENUINE FRIENDSHIP. Totally opposite.

You know what?? im mad, im mad at myself that i trusted you. Despite i was hurt so many times by friendships alone, i still chose to trust it. How foolish is it. You know why? because they are people out there other than you who can be trusted ! Do you know that how carefully i choose my friends? because i was born to do that, everyone around was always jealous of how lucky am i... but do u think i get to choose my life? Do u think it's easy to be me? Why dont u be me for one day and say that ??!!! you 2$!$#@!$#!@$!##@%R!# dear God, i seriously need to change my habit of swearing when im mad. =.=

SINCE I WAS SO LUCKY, WHY DO I HAVE TO TAKE PRECAUTION SINCE THE DAY I CAN REMEMBER - since PRIMARY 1 !!!! do u know how i HATE TO SEE THOSE EYES ~ those jealous eyes, i know when i see one. although sometimes my friends showed it i ignored, because it's normal. But thank God, i recently saw little of it.. because im in australia, no one knows who my dad is where my home is......... other than eyes, those reactions.... everything is under my eyes. I SAW IT !!! YOU 34!#@$!@#$!@$#$! YET.......I CHOSE TO SMILE AT THE STORM. you know why again? BECAUSE I LOVE GOD AND GOD SAID "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF"

ok enough of the "holy" speaking of me. duh.. I was actually talking about one thing and it reminded me of the other thing.. well if u noticed, there are 2 things/kind of person mentioned above. LOL.

Anyways after celebrating my birthday and having fun in perth.. I was super high and happy ~

only to find that a LOT OF PROBLEMS await me here in Adelaide.

很多问题，现在主要的是选科目！！

你知道我想了这么多天，今天终于怎样得出结论吗？？？？

就7月8号

我就用了“那一天”来决定

就看老天爷要干嘛

如果那天有课，

就drop那一科！

如果没课，

就和以前一样。

结果那天真的有！！！！！

我的妈呀。。。。。

就只好拿physio2 和 foundation 了

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

今天的结论是，

伤心的时候，很多伤心的事情，

都一起回想起来，

看过有人说，冬天会容易伤心，

我不否认

确实是这样

在我的case

blog 啊blog

觉得你才是和我度过最多难关的那个

这三年来

种种的挫折和难关

还好有你陪我度过

只有你

愿意听我的埋怨，哭诉，不讲理和堕落

做我男朋友吧

超爱你的

xoxo 小JJ报告完毕

你到底有没有想过

2011-06-27T22:22:00.001+08:00

你放弃了那么多。
朋有
尊严
时间
金钱
家人

就为了到阿德莱德。还得到那种成绩，对得起自己吗？
还有脸出门逛街吃玩？
都20了！！还比朋友们慢一年。

独自来到这里受尽苦，想念perth 划得来你考那么差吗？？
还每天一个人上上下下那么可怜的说。

Jennifer 不值不值如果继续下去不考好。真的很不值得！！！

浪费钱一年的钱和时间eh 可不是小数目！别贪玩了！！

对你彻底失望 :(

Sent from my iPhone

hey yo

2011-06-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

so my dramtically holiday ended.. and left me cold here in this lonely apartment.

Get whgat i mean?? like the msn "swt" white iconwhere the wind blow the eyes small small.

YES. Me. Pitiful ~

Went to melbourne for an extraordinary holiday. going back home to find everyone not back and my stupiak results suck till the end. i gpa 6 my gpa is 5.17 to make it 6 i need to get 3 HD.. which is =.= well after that at least everyone backed we went out then got celebrate my birthday ~

wow going 20 is seriously old liao eh !!!! i can feel that im old... i feel like i dont dare to wear my teenage clothes already... feel like throwing/sell/giving them away !!!

20 when u have a 2 there... seriously feel OLD. i can imagine me aging right now. with white hair and on a rowing chair sewing.. well dramatic side of it... yeah.. OLD.... haih

hope time can just stop here....................... anyways looking forward to this sem althought not lifespan i th@%#^$%&%^&u$ AFTER all those sucks experience this time... i can only pray anyways im colouring my hair GTG .. TEEHEE. POST AGAIN WHEN IM FREE..

I MISS PERTH.

xoxo J

我爹爹

2011-06-09T20:54:00.000+08:00

看到他时不知道是该哭还是笑　　　　　　　　他那恶心的笑　　　　　开心的笑　　　　　　　还是那个他还带着的戒指　　　　　　　　　　弄的我心情七上八下　　　好气又好笑　　　　　　现在我又对灰尘过敏　　头痛呼吸困难　　　　烦死了

Sent using a Sony Ericsson mobile phone

watched again

2011-06-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

Yup my sad movies.. lol ... i saw in pps got this 再说一次我爱你。。。very sad :(

i think i too long didnt watch sad movie hahahaaha

哭得好惨！！

LOL

xoxo J is waiting everyone to come back labuan...

2011-06-04T23:05:00.001+08:00

喝酒的伴一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱K的伴一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活只差那个人就美满

没有想法有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了心里的遗憾
没有负担原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我那要不要跟我交换

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
努力把日子填满
别来提醒我多孤单

压力

2011-05-29T14:40:00.003+08:00

每一次，很压力的时候。。。

都回想起很多痛苦的事情，

谁定的规则啊！！！！

烦死了！！x100

很烦的时候，找我还行。。。。

那就是现在。。

可是又烦又心情不好的时候。。。

千万千万！！！！

千千万万！！！！！！！！！！！！

不要找我，

要不，

就准备受死吧！

不是被我的毒舌毒死，

就是被我发出的煤气给晕死，

最后。。。。。。

还来的话，

就被我。。。

亲手杀死。

haha

xoxo J

WAKAKAKAA

2011-05-28T19:51:00.002+08:00

张孝全好帅！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

HAHAHAHAHAHA

my new target ~ he so shy, cute and handsome :3

be my boyfriend can or not. xD

hehe

these days

2011-05-25T02:39:00.001+08:00

Yup..

these days...

very busy.......... yet i watched pirates of caribbean 4 hehehe yesterday

oh well... get to know new friends.........

then this topic keep popping up in between eveyrthing = boyfriend......

which i would say...... sun qi zi ran.....if yes then yes if no then no.......

but cant deny the fact no bf no problem

:P

xoxo j

2011-05-22T20:53:00.001+08:00

I suddenly miss you. :D hope you're doing well in Perth. Teehee :x

2011-05-19T01:06:00.001+08:00

today in class, there was a question rate 1-4. "when you are angry, do u say nasty things?". i rated mine 4, God is trying to prove a point. I have to change my thinking and behaviour, not by own my strength(impossible) but with Him together.

i suddenly missed high school

2011-05-17T21:56:00.002+08:00

i missed how i would randomly text some dudes im not closed with :S

randomly have a crush with so many people LOL... :S

randomly dress so little and show off :S

randomly spent money on useless stuffs :S

randomly scold people HAHAHAHA i blame the hormones of teenagers... so sorry ALL :S

and worst... randomly being broken hearted by friendships, relationships/bonds between friends?? cause beeing too close with people you will understand that NOBODY IS EXACTLY LIKE YOU... knowing that everyone is different from you, different from what you think he/she is... totally blow your mind...

yesss teenagers, search... they want to know more, they search for everything and anything ~~ and do not get anything and get things they dont expect to get... HAHAHAHA...

stupid teenagers.........yeah.... im getting over with you in one month +

then im officially 20 !!!!!

I LIVED 20 YEARS IN THIS WORLD oh dear @@

xoxo J

sin has infected this world

2011-05-17T20:27:00.002+08:00

selfish - Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

You scolded someone selfish, so you can get what you want(isnt that for your own profit and pleasure?),by blaming others, you also gain pleasure. arent you selfish as well?? No one knows everything about others, sarcastic world when sin is there. No one is perfect, only God is.

So my group mate said(copied and pasted)

"As u know is not my personal problem,can u forget ur beauty nap, try to fix the problem,I call u many time but u didn't pick up the phone,tell me what can i do?I want to have a beauty nap as well,think about someone else pls!!!"

So... you know what she wanted??? a summary(i didnt know at that time what she wanted-due to her poor communication skills)... and the meeting is on monday afternoon 4pm.. and i dont know what the tut is wrong with her that she wants me to do at 5pm SUNDAY...literally FORCING ME TO.... so i didnt pick up the phone cause i was sleeping means.... im selfish?? yeah u can say that... but.. do you HAVE TO use those words to hurt me? and talk soo mean and rude and bad just because i didnt pick up the phone??? WHAT A RUDE GIRL. oh my...

"Can u sleep tonight,can let fix the problem. think about the meeting tmr,how can we do the presentation. I got to work tmr,if can can't finish tongiht,how can we do the pre-presentation. I am blame u ,but u can do it now better than do it at night.I am not sure can I get any files cause my computer have problem at home.Thx"

I AM BLAME YOU? BUT YOU CAN DO IT NOW BETTER THAN DO IT AT NIGHT .... SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH (LATER I UNDERSTOOD CAUSE HER PC CACAT SO SHE WANTED ME TO DO NOW =.= SELFISH, FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT AGAIN)

Ok. firstly.... the problem wasnt that big... she sounds like i didnt do anything at all?? HELLO WHO SPENT HOURS EDITING THE PICTURES AND SLIDES AND ASKING EVERYONE TO PASS HER THE POWERPOINTS!! WHO HAS TO CORRECT ALL THE GRAMMARS ERRORS?? WHO HAS POWERPOINT SLIDES TO DO 3 slides?? WHO DID THE INTRODUCTION (2 slides...)AND WHO DID THE REFERENCE LIST(reference list is not easy with more than 10 references to edit, combine everyone's one, editing many times =.=)= out of 17 slides for 5 person... i alone doing 6 SLIDES ALREADY... all she did was like 2 slides?? WHAT THE... 2 slides ONLY... and say "I AM BLAME YOU IF WE CANT FINISH" HELLO!!!!!!! SUMMARY ONLY.. JUST COPY AND PASTE TITLE MY DEAR...WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? WHY HAVE TO TALK SO LOUD AND RUDE TO ME?? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS MANNERS?? CANT YOU TALK NORMALLY AND POLITELY...

NOW I AM RACIST, I THINK HONG KEES ARE SUPER RUDE PEOPLE !!

WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHEN TO SLEEP? WHO ARE YOU TO SPAM ON MY FACEBOOK ALL THOSE @#%$@#%$#%@ WORDS??? AND SHE IS RACIST TOWARDS "SLEEPING" .. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT TIME I SLEEP, NORMALLY HOW MANY HOURS I SLEEP, WHEN DO I SLEEP AND YOU ARE RACIST TOWARDS "SLEEPING" ???? sleeping IS a very MAJOR THING IN MY LIFE ..and im moody when i dont sleep.. =.=

and also see what she wrote...

"I tried to call u many time but no one pick up the phone,pls send me the ppt.thx a lot!!!" what's with the "!!"

"Thx Jennifer,But why the summary haven't done?I heard from Nikki,u guys finished at Thuesday.How come!!!Did u check?thx~"

WHY NOT DONE?HOW COME? blame me? what the @%$#^T#$^T$#%T$@%$#@$#$@ are you my BOSSS???do you use that tone to ask someone something??? YOU ASK ME HOW COME?? it isnt my part to do to start with... @#%#$^%##@$

and ask, not ask COMMAND AND INSISTED, THAT IF I SLEEP THE WHOLE WORLD WILL DIE........ask me NOT TO SLEEP !!! urghh ...even if i rephrase it... it is even more polite (the case here i guess is... SHE HAS POOOR ENGLISH BUT GUESS WHAT SHE TOLD ME LATER-see resolution down there)

then i wrote

Please dont flood my wall post with non sense ... Personal life and study life is different for me... If u think ur whole life is about study then be it... But not me, please don't make me be rude to you. But meeting is tomorrow not today. So can u please stop complaining about my life
(she asked me to sleep later RUDELY) and just attend meeting tomorrow to discuss. summary or whatever is it...im doing it(WHO SAID I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING?? EVEN IF I HAD TO DO EVERYTHING I DIDNT COMPLAIN ALREADY??) and that's it...just mind your part.. Summary is nothing but a combination of everyone's point...

Not that I don't care your feelings but everyone is different... Fuck my life that I love
Sleeping..you have no right to judge me and I just need to sleep.. If sleeping does offend you... Then I hope you better not sleep forever... Just please don't make me mad, and spam my wall for the world to see how " wonderful" group mates I have

Btw WE ALL AGREED the meeting is tomorrow my dear!!!!!!! Fuck! Not tonight! So can u not last min tell me YOU WANT IT tonight and wan me to do it???

super selfish person.... what is the problem if i had to sleep??? why do u need it so badly? just because you are doing it right now(she went to uni to use computer cause her pc cacat-which i only understand later why she wanted it at that time), so i had to compromise with your time???

i totally dont understand her.... and she seems like she is alright right just because she is 27 years old lady

And practice before presentation..oh dear... we have NOT rehearsed properly and she keep saying NO NEED TO REHEARSE IT because IS USELSS??? what the @#%$@#$%@%

ah ma!! 35% presentation no need to rehearse??? and i cannot fight too much.... have to follow majority weaklings... haihz... so screwed... and the one time we rehearsed was overtime for 5 mins... i dont see why practice at home will help that at all.... i can say it's God's help if we didnt overtime....

SO AS A CHRISTIAN AND A PEACEFUL PERSON I HAD TO CALL HER TO RESOLVE EVERYTHING.

RESOLUTION

so.... the thing is... Nikki(another girl) didnt get my file i put in her usb that day so she cant do the summary .. the old lady didnt tell me that.... then.... problem is fixed by just sending her the powerpoints =..=

i was mad because she speaks rudely .. and guess what she said... "I too long didnt write chinese, i dont know how to write anymore, i only know english" if you only know english... then i would expect it to be good right? I am expecting a polite, correct grammar spelling and broad vocab... well.. at least.. THE CORRECT WAY TO ASK A PERSON FOR SOMETHING.

SUPER NO MANNERS, i can conclude NO MATTER CHINESE OR ENGLISH ALSO NO MANNERS !!! SAME !!!

so with my human strength, i will never forgive her... but with God's help and grace.. and His great mercy.... i will forgive... at least i am trying to.....

huh(breathing out heavily)

xoxo J

cont. from previous post

2011-05-16T10:00:00.002+08:00

im those type that

明明在意到不得了，还可以在你的面前说没有的人：p

明明就很开心，可是表达不出来，

只能微笑。

明明很伤心，可以跟你说无所谓，都是我的错。

或则没说什么。

明明很爱你，可以对着你的眼说没有，

就是那种，超级，口是心非的人。

超级，别人有或没有，都无所谓的人。

因为，我人太好，好到别人觉得没有脾气，

尽管利用，伤害都没关系，

反正没了我也无所谓。

反正，我这么独立，

这么大方，人这么好，一定有别的朋友。

可是，我好朋友，都是你们呀

虽然，我有很多边的，教堂，学校，纳闽，ocf bla bla

我可以说话的朋友真的，不知道该找谁。

really.... only God.. lol...

Please help me arrange them into one category.. a category of Christian, then life would be much easier.... which is so not easy but not impossible... :)

xoxo J

Me me and me

2011-05-16T01:56:00.001+08:00

I found out I'm one of those type.. Those friend that you may have or lose easily...

I'm a person where you will have a feeling of be friends also can, not friends also can. That's what I made people feel..

In other words, it's ok to lose a friend like me cause you dont benefit or lose anything anyways...

Also most of my friends are females.. And females don't really give a shit on anything .. All they care is themselves.. Serious... Including myself... Or super closed to you.. There are only 2 types... But close frens also are those temporally ones..

Should I make new friends and lose friends.. still after having said these? :S

Sent from my iPhone

so much

2011-05-15T19:19:00.002+08:00

There's so much happening in this new life in adelaide.... but i will jump to the most recent one first which what happen just now...

I literally argued with my groupmate AGAIN... and finally after both of us ended with a >.> conversation in fb..... i decided to step in and call her, just in case it was due to english miscommunication.... and result is YES IT IS BECAUSE OF ENGLISH....oh dear... im actually quite scared if it is not communication.. but i heard some statistic before that, most arguments 80% are due to miscommunication... THANK GOD I DECIDED TO CALL HER, although there was 20% of chance it was not because of that... but if u had an argument with someone, it is best to resolve ASAP !! and find where is the root.. cause that would make the argument small and not dragging and less misunderstanding in future....

so yeah, that my recent story in adelaide....

others are i went to life group something like cell group and i really really LOVE IT. cause it's like perth but it makes me sad sometimes lol.... then... decided to stay in paradise church :) almost like perth church also... then... i went to see nigahiga and kevjumba !! super in LOVE WITH THEM NOW.... then.... My tests and presentation are coming !!!! and all the stress are here... in the air ~

Above all .. one thing im truely grateful is.. i choose the right side .. Because i see so many people well in facebook mostly u can see... due to some past misunderstanding... they have to accept people requests in fb and then delete them(friends)/blocked them later... sometimes... totally make their fb disappear... then sometimes... delete facebook account and make new one cause too many misunderstanding on their wall.......OH DEAR ME ! DEAR LORD GOD HELP ALL THESE LOST PEOPLE !!! PLEASE SHOW THEM YOUR LIGHT!!

Pray that they can..

grow up and overcome all these problems in past of their life
never be afraid to make mistakes as everyone makes mistake !
know that they can lean on You when there is no one to turn to...
make sure that they are not alone as God is with them.
be civilised people and dont kill people/HAI BIE REN
meet new people that would help them know You more
know that everyone is beautiful in the inside is more important than the outside

In Jesus name i pray Amen

xoxo Jennifer Tee

J

2011-05-10T00:34:00.002+08:00

世界不会因为你而停下来，

月亮不会因为怕白天而不见，

太阳不会为了你而不下山。

我要向世界学习不停转动，

像月亮学习它的勇敢，

像太阳有规律的生活。

让每一天，

过得明明白白，

轰轰烈烈，

没有悔恨，

只有努力的痕迹。

experiment 1,2 + mother's day

2011-05-07T01:05:00.016+08:00

Tell you a very simple experiment. It's called "learned helplessness"

Once, a dog was shocked with inescapable electric shock, meaning it cant escape the shock no matter what it does. This was repeated few times, and finally the dog decided not to do anything even after it was being shocked(learned). Then, an opportunity to escape is given to the dog to run from the shock, in this case, is to walk out of a cage. But because the dog "learned" that, no matter what it does, it cannot escape the shock anyways, it will still, however, not move already, AND let the electric shocked him.

This is how human is, you have been hurt so many times, until when there is a door opened, you cant see it and not walk to it, because you learned to be helpless. You let the hurt just, shock the happiness out of you.

That was me, how sad, i learned that no matter what i do, i cant be happy after that incident. I just feel like dying. It's hard to be happy.

There is another simple experiment talks about relating a bell and food.

Before food was given, bell is rang. The dog would then have saliva falling when it heard the bell. One day, only the bell rang, but no food was given. However, saliva still was initiated.

So, when my mum died, tears were of course fallen. But however, it became extreme point when the bell(thoughts) were initiated, even it does not related to her death anymore, it relates more to the feeling of sadness. So when my bell rang, i will automatically be sad.

as you can see, it became both of the above learned helplessness and relations.

It first started with the 2nd experiment......Where thoughts=her=tears=sad, slowly an equation as below developed.

sea =her

house =her

smile =her

happy =her

moon =her

sleep =her

food =her

friend =her

family =her

... = her

It became sooo bad, cause almost everything was about her. Slowly, I learned, helplessness. I was hurt on so many days so many tears, so many years that..... even when there was a door opened..... i cannot see it anymore, it does not exist, no more........

But one thing during that deep pit of 2 years ++

I love sleeping in my dreams, I would have different incidents such as.....

1. She was alive, we continued our normal days, her death was a lie.

Where i would wake up to find her, as in my dream i truely believe that she didnt die, that was so real. I can still feel it now xD. But sadly, but true, she's dead.

2. Nothing to do with her death, everything is the same..

However, that was memory of when i was younger.. Where mum, dad and me would go da pao food... where that innocent feeling was there... no death was mentioned in these kind of dream.

3. I saw her, but i cant talk to her, nor reach out to her, as if, im the ghost she's the living one.

And i dont know why, where i would just silently, watched her do anything.

4. Yes, last but the worst type but true. She would leave me type of dream.

Where i would wake up crying, asking her not to go. Not to turn her back to me, where i know now for sure, it's impossible as she's dead.

Maybe just why i love sleeping=depress, where there is a chance of 1/4 that she didnt die, but there is also a chance of 1/4 i would have to face her death again.

You can still imagine what exactly happened on major events on your life right? like.. your first love, when you broke up, your marriage, +++ and my mum's death day.....It is good to keep it there actually, just to remind myself sometimes, that she truely died. Yes, i can remember the details that happened on that sad day.... literally almost everything, despite that i have a bad memory.

I am a person that is very hard to be convinced, thus, it took me those 2 years + to convinced myself that i had to move on......oh well, 100% convinced but not 100% healed..... and thank God it was healed 70% after the scar was pour salt on the zoo incident, pastor patrick talked about pain and suffering for few months last year. :)

and yes, how long was that..... 8 years..... yeah, i still remember that last mother's day hug. Where i was convinced(yes, i convinced myself to do that after being encouraged, thank God i did) to give her a hug to wish her (i dont normally hug people lol)

"HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, I LOVE YOU"

ps. remember to say that to your mum this sunday, give her something special if you can. haha. and i hope you are convinced here to tell your mum the above. btw, those experiments on dogs are true, they existed, you can do research on them, i learnt them in psychology class.

xoxo - J

boo

2011-04-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

i dint write anything in my blog for ages... cause im too busy with making friends, studying and being happy :D

i quite like it here i found out..........

now it's more on staying here... wee ~

although there are stuffs that i could not really put down in the other place yet... but slowly..

im getting the hang out of it :)

xoxo J went to mountain hiking and ice skating on the same day... she hurt her butt's spinal cord as she fall right on the butt !!!!!! D: it hurts a bit when a stretch my leg in certain sides, need some time to heal o.o should fall anymore ass im getting old, cant hurt my bones o.o

psychology class again

2011-04-20T18:17:00.002+08:00

Yupz... it's psychology class today...

And i suddenly realised one thing........ I finally understand (we're on the anxiety, depression and stress topics)... that you are at level 3 depressed when "you're sad but you cant cry" which is the highest level !!

Levels - will tell you what is 0 1 2 3 when im free k... LOL stay tuned ~ this weekend im going easter camp :) wee ~helping out on my first easter camp... :]

anyways. im stressed now. am on stage 3 haha.

xoxo J

oh well

2011-04-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

Yup... cause i went to Perth, which is awesome. I am a biiiiiittt... maybe more than a bit, behind my studies :p .... anatomy test tomorrow, now 1.05am haih... less than 12 more hours to exam.....so screwed. yikes.

Perth was fun, although everyone was busy... but it's the little things that counts, no matter how little, how small, how less time were spent, i appreciate everything...

cause you can choose to have 2 kinds of attitude when meeting this situation(i go perth everyone busy)...

1. Stop, ponder and be sad. complain, angry and blame. end result= get nothing out of that trip.

Thank God i didnt choose to do that.

2. I chose to appreciate, look, search, smile, be positive, do everything that is within my will power, go everywhere i want to go even i went alone so i wont regret.... Because i know, you wont know what will happen tomorrow, something may change, something may go away... you just dont know... all you could do is.... which i did.. IS cherish everything in the present. :))

Life is always full of expectational, you wont what exactly will happen tomorrow. I learnt that through the hard way, but i know God knows it all.

Well, i was taking psychology... then at least i know i was under depression... it was called manic depression/bipolar disorder. Which was only better last year.... now i get the clues of me being weird last time few years back... well, i really have to thank God, even though i didnt know i was some how "sick" , i still manage to get over life.. get to know many friends... and be healthy again.

more of the sickness - describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes.

which explains the moodiness in few years back(i mean like serious MOODY), and the sometimes hyper(do a lot of stuffs in that week) and make weird decisions- TOO MUCH TUITION but sometimes dont want to go and wonder why got so many(made weird decision)....sometimes super high(talk a lot)(do a lot of stuffs just for the fun of it), sometimes sooo depressed and want to stay at home n be quiet.......(symptoms of being depressed o.o) and sometime sooo depressed and can sleep whole day(sleeping too much is also a sympton)...pain from no where(symptom)... sleeping disturbance(waking up at half sleep, something like being shock to awake.. sympton).... up till the making decisions to be hyper in clubs, yet sad at most times at homee.... spending a lot ... (also symptom) .... and a lot which i dont feel like mentioning at all :p

It can be easily confused with adolescence growing up.... but sadly i know i wasnt normal at that time... but there wasnt anything i could do about it.... too bad... (very hard to control is also symptom)

Thank God i gained healing last year.... at least, someone talked about pain and scars... where pain leave scars, and scars still hurts.......You can look at scars, but remember....... What else can you do? But move on.... :/

xoxoxO J

everyone

2011-04-05T23:11:00.002+08:00

everyone seems to be so busy with tests n assignments n stuffs...

but this week im a bit free :)

my only week being "free" from all those... yeah my only chance to go ikea again, and harbour town to shop...

every week until final exam on first week of june have either tests, assignment or presentations... they all suck :D

esp anatomy.. to be honest, i only have been reading n doing practices on physiology all these while o.o cause i kinda lost hope on anatomy and i dont know where to start ... too many...

i bought a loooot many !! sticky notes just for anatomy.. .but my determination melted as someone got 100 for the last physio test, and i got only 70 zzzz we are fighting for quotas available in uni next year... and HER anatomy is very good too o.o which is OH DEAR.

and i hope i get good groupmate for the 30% presentation for physio ... the china ppl... i guess they just love me, i cant hide from them o.o

GOD PLEASE HELP, ALL THINGS CAN BE DONE ONLY THROUGH YOU

i sincerely, deeply and obviously believe and pray for that deep down in my heart, no matter what the outcome is. 我跟定你了。

no play play ady... tomorrow(thursday) got checking on my room, i need to pass with flying colours. lol

xoxo J

wish you were here

2011-04-02T21:51:00.002+08:00

This song is now stucked with me :) AVRIL LAVIGNE :)

I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all

There's a girl
who gives a shit
behind this wall
You've just walked through it

And I remember, all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It's who I am, don't have to try hard
We always say, say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

連理枝

2011-03-28T23:00:00.002+08:00

nice nice. :))

btw this is korean duno why the picture japanese lol.. .anyways..

sad movie marathon continues. this one not bad !!! sad enough !! lol .. compared to atonement. yeah this one nicer hehe

satisfied watching this :)

xoxo J

I was thinking

2011-03-20T06:53:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. If u were to wait for me to really really smile.. The whole world would collapsed already. Lol fake lol again. :I

Sent from my iPhone

郑京浩

2011-03-19T20:50:00.004+08:00

看了香草。。 and 没做assignment ！！！！

o。o

yesss

2011-03-19T18:03:00.002+08:00

I bought a piano... O.O yeah... i bought a piano !!!! LOL...

it's those electric piano bought it for $599 .. xD my new toyyy ~~ <3 <3

yeah normally i get a quite expensive stuff 2 times a year.. .
1 beginning of the year. (last year was NDS)
2. 2nd half of the year :D (Gucci rag) - basically is a birthday gift i buy for myself...

yeah... every year i would buy a birthday gift for myself... and this year.. all i can think of is.... DSLR !!!!! XD

BTW... i got my very first lab coat :O due to misconduct i bought the faulty one though.. sad.. but it's alright it's cheaper cause it lost a button...so happy to wear a lab coat ~ weee :)

xoxo J

错的科

2011-03-16T20:24:00.007+08:00

明知道读这一科（science）并不牢靠

　　但是我还是拼命往里跳
　　明知道再走可能是监牢
　　但是我还是相信只是煎熬
　　朋友都劝我不要不要
　　不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑

　　但是做人已经那么累
　　假惺惺的想要逃

　　在我生命里连真心都不能给
　　这才真的真正的可笑

　　爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲
　　太容易让自己沉沦
　　太容易不顾一切满是伤痕

　　我太笨明知道你是错的科
　　明知道这不是缘分
　　但是我还奋不顾身
　　但我相信有点可能

　　可能在爱里面这样算笨
　　可能永远没有所谓永恒
　　但是我不愿放弃这里面一点点可能
　　宁愿笨也不想要悔恨

xoxo - Jennifer Tee

standard

2011-03-14T21:29:00.001+08:00

the minimum requirements for my guy would be - make me TRULY smile all the time :)

xoxo J

xD

2011-03-13T22:35:00.002+08:00

i suddenly feel like getting marrieddd !!! LOL

cause everyone around me (or at least i think) are like in married moods ~ seen a lot of people marriage videos n advertisements......

Envy much of the getting married couplesss.. pictures and videos so nice.... and they cant stop smiling although their cheeks hurt !!! cause they are happy i guess

ouufbdfha2315426347yu46
@!$@!Q%#^$W&U

who wan marry me? please call .... ur head la lol

xoxo J

atonement

2011-03-13T20:19:00.002+08:00

Yup .. finally i decided to continue the sad movie marathon ... atonement before i start tell the freakish thing...so i saw the atonement dvd in the library.. borrowed it and.. watched until halfway... zzzzz it kinda lagged tried many times still GG-ed... haih cause i dun wana use too much of my homestay interet.. but anyways i used it to watch the next one and a half hour of atonement. LOL

Atonement ending... is okok sad.. yeah should be quite sad... but not what you would expect when watching the movie.. cause it has a final twist in the last 15 mins like that....

Moral of story is "relationships are complicated" so my advice is... dun simply mess into other people's relationship.. unless under special circumstances. cause you duno how deep is their love and how is the relationship going so far....

xoxo J

so confused

2011-03-12T15:30:00.002+08:00

im so confused on whether i should stay in adelaide or go back to perth...

sometimes i feel like... i just need to stay in Adelaide just for a year...

Sometimes i feel like.. Adelaide needs a person like me to stay...

sometimes i feel like adelaide is the place for me..

sometimes i think i miss the people and life in perth....

sometimes i think perth is more joyful than adelaide

sometimes i think adelaide lifestyle is just what i needed...

Now i feel... super confused :@

J

mighty to save

2011-03-04T22:31:00.001+08:00

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

Christian lyrics - MIGHTY TO SAVE LYRICS - HILLSONG AUSTRALIA

Stage

2011-03-04T10:08:00.001+08:00

I remember I went to an inspiring program where people talk about leadership yourself.

One thing she said about is being on stage which I think is very true. Everyday, you are standing on the stage of your life. You make decisions, you fear the people looking at you, you perform like who you are...

Inside each and everyone of us... There is a stage to perform each and everyday...and everyone around you IS your audience. It all depends on who you want yourself to be, what is your goal/want to achieve in life and how do you want to perform it.

And it is not easy.. As no matter the little things or big things. they all affect you. And slowly mold you.

Today the challenge is... Have you found your stage? Do you know what you want to do?

Xoxo Jennifer tee :)

Sent from my iPhone

how's adelaide?

2011-03-01T11:28:00.002+08:00

well. so far so good. :) only thing is class havent started until tomorrow. lol....

few things happened....since im here

find new place to stay... i will be sick forever if i stay here...it's an apartment :)

my china housemate is okok... just a bit tooo china...but she's nice she gave me some of chinese medications. yeah i took everything i can to help me get better...like..everything lol... just hope i dun get overdose and become a drug addict ? oh dear....

i still cant taste anything... that means only the first night i've tasted the homestay meals lol.... other night i ate but tasteless homestay experience so far....not that bad, but not that good. 1-10 i will give it.... 5.5 haha

reasons, we start with cons first.. toilet spoil. cant poo there, pee also a bit problem cause flush spoiled. zzz. room too dusty, my nose blocked and died -lol , a lot insects, not noise proof-got hole with my housemate lol, window not fully covered-cant change, the guy talks a lot. zzz e.g. dun put here, dun always leave lights on.. bla x3 comment too much.....cant wash laundry. zzz i sick-sore throat serve me bbq ? zzzzz!! =.=

cons are.. they got nice cute chiwawas. got not too bad internet :)

food soso only.... overall yeah. 5.5 is fair enough.

new apartment.. yeah studio apartment. paide $50 more per week for it o.o exclude internet n electric n dinner some more oh dear... i cant look at the bills for now, just in case my eyes will drop out...

yeah.. cause in perth i used to spend more on clothes and food outside. here i think wont la, here no nice bubble tea- which costs me a lot in perth lol cause one is about $4.20...one week i have min 2, max 5 lol average 3.5 x4.2 is also $15 ...15x 4(one month) = $60 LOL oh dear my first time calculating it. RM240 for one month bubble tea spending.... seriously, i could make better use of it in adelaide i guess lol....

but i still like fast food O.O mcD and kfc all those. fat fat !!!

have to look closely at the $$ these days... cause my spending suddenly jump... new apartment cost $125 than my perth home. ahem, per-week !! 125x4=$500 extra costs per month now i dont know where to cut from other than bubble tea. oh dear o.o

so adelaide now for me is budget tight. super tight. lol

No.

2011-02-26T21:04:00.001+08:00

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".

He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".

He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".

He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".

He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".

He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".

He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".

He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.

And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"

Claudia Minden Weisz (the mother of a Rett Syndrome child)

from yan pin note in fb hehe

Can cut 3 units... Hmm

2011-02-22T14:25:00.003+08:00

2011-02-22T14:25:00.001+08:00

my room

2011-02-22T09:56:00.001+08:00

suddenly so empty. so weird. well im going off today. bye room bye peeps.

xxoo.

Jennifer Tee

Love crush

2011-02-20T14:13:00.001+08:00

And this crush will go away. Like it never started :(

Good bye ..

Sent from my iPhone

没甜，有苦

2011-02-15T00:41:00.001+08:00

我不是哪里疼，只是心疼。
不是哪里苦，只是觉得命苦。
我不是不幸，只是理智。

我爱自由，
我爱梦幻，
我爱你离开的那一天。

我是不孝女：）

stress

2011-02-15T00:31:00.002+08:00

stress that i have a weird dad. ge changes in every 1 seconds, speaks words of no brains, yet i have the same sir name. Dear God, please dont make me like him, i want to be more like You, but not him.

stupid gear, gear do neutral i no see today. failed the 3rd time. haih.

stress that i got things going on my mind that make me feel that other than frens... the life is labuan is hopeless.

In other place, life will be good but less frens also.... life is so hard..

xoxo J

meow

2011-02-12T13:11:00.001+08:00

sick sick and driving test gg ~~~~ aiyor 3 more days and im going ~ no feel... hahahaa. faster go ba
i need that life hehehee

xoxo J

oh dear

2011-02-11T01:48:00.003+08:00

Im sick again. zzzzz !! cough cough ~

and im feeling stressful o.o other than the car test.... looking at all the difficult terms in pharmacy units make me sick too.. i just notice how easy was life last year, would i miss it? of course. who doesnt miss easy going life? and fun too ~

but in the long run, where do i see myself in 10 years time. hmm ~ yes, may it be a pharmacist .. but it's so stressful.... ok Jennifer you chose this, then just have a stressful 5 years only k ~ 5 years v fast de~ o.o

yes by that time, u can see nerdy Jennifer, messy hair, old clothes, out dated and no frens. gg.

have to always remember the beginning, the passion, the fire, the sacrifices and the wonderful ending. seriously, i need a lot of courage to walk this path.

xoxo J

got me thinking

2011-02-07T01:42:00.005+08:00

oh yeah, so today i heard an interesting story ~ one day, the press asked a lady about the 911 incident "why did God let it happen?"

She said several things....
1. the of canning students have been abolished - children cant really understand what is wrong and right anymore
2. prayers in school have been abolished due to freedom of religion - there is no acknowledge to the world creator
3. pornography has become a freedom of choice - every ppl of age can watch it anytime
4. violence movie given to children to watch
5. freedom to use some drug to release stress, lower punishment for drug users if due to psychological disorder

all those seem harmless to me at first too ~ but you cant really see the consequences after many many years ~

until....NOW

consequences....
1. children aged 13 get pregnant
2. children are being raped and sold
3. children bring gun to shoot in school
4. children wont listen to anyone - dont fear God ady, fear who ler?
5. more and more drug addicts= death (sheng bu ru si people)

Who is it to blame? at this stage of life, i understand that the role of parents are seriously limited esp when both parents are working.... it is the extent of the moral discipline that has been let gone in the social world.

back to the 911.. after having said all these.... what the human race has done, how dare you ask God, why did You let 911 happened?

God must be very sien liao ~ He is too broken hearted to even care anymore, He would say "i tried to tell you, i tried to call you... no one listens to me.... so i let you do what you want. when 911 happen that so many people died, why ONLY NOW come and ask me, why did i let it happen? I would have told you so. "

You would say "oh, now the world is so horrible, so many different bad cases and bla bla bla"... but seriously, it's the human race to blame. We let it out a bit TOO much

xoxo J

profile

2011-02-07T01:12:00.002+08:00

High profile, low profile, my profile picture. u noe, if u put anyone's face on ur facebook. he/she will become your "best fren" ... not to say i care too much, but i cannot care too little also... haih... so i chose, to always crop and put my face only. lol.

so i watch the last episode of "mei ren shing ji", and watched 锦衣卫 also. all also nice. now watching one of my top actor in my fav list in another movie. the first time i saw him act was in "qian jing bai fen bai" ... wa now?? lead actor in many china drama. lol. but nice also la :p

how i would define myself? hmm. physically = not pretty, meaty than normal.... personality = too humble that you dont know how to treat me, fast learner but slow progress-or, a bit abnormal, too weird. :p i like to read body language if i could, i dont like pityness, dislike liars, hate fakers..

how to make me misunderstand you? = being too nice to me, being too not nice at first sight

u noe if an apple drop into a box of oranges... you will see it if you just look at it. i still feel like im that apple sometimes. life, oh life ~

xoxo -J

40 episodes

2011-02-03T11:50:00.003+08:00

normally i cant finish such a long drama. only a few chinese drama can. hahahaa ~ and like most times ~ im in love with the main character again lol !!!!

古今大戰秦俑情

actually i think this not so handsome, but after watching that drama. ~ eee handsome de yao ming lol

in the drama he acted as 蒙天放 as he is the lover of "han dong er" aiya my lappy cant write chinese tiba2 again haih....

but this is china movie oh hahahaha. i likey ~ and the other one "shen hua" i watch until episode 22 only ~ aiyor 28 more too huhuhu lol

meng tian fang n han dong er love story... nice2 hehehee

wo zai fa hua chi ~ meow

xoxo J

im wrong

2011-02-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

you know what??? i think oh.. normally im wrong :p except trusting God is always right :D

Thank God i have the chance to...... Always re-correct my mistakes. God has always blessed me with chances ~~ xD Im so blessed that i cant contain it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IF You count your blessings and name them one by one, see what God hath done !!

that song is so true in my life. i have made so many mistakes that i cant even recall all of them. But because im blessed with great friends, great teachers, great God ~ haih :D

I always knew that putting everything unto God hands is the right choice. At times i doubt, at times i think too much. But i always have God as my back up :))

Conclusion, although i will priotise studying in THIS year ~ But will not and cannot forget, all these was given by God and without Him, i have nothing at all ~

Yeah yeah yeah. (Although i still havent gotten my P license) but yeah, say hi TO.......ADELAIDE !!!!

xoxo - Jennifer Tee

hope

2011-01-30T20:49:00.002+08:00

i really really really realllyy hope that. this is what im looking for. :/

i noe if i fought my heart out nothing can stop me. i can even die if i cant get what i want, i just need my father in heaven guidance right now, to make sure in the rest of my days, i find peace with You.
:)

May everything that will happen, happen... may everything that will pass, pass. may dreams that are longings, come true as well.

thank u for not looking down on the power of dreams and youngster's courage n fire within. When i thought there was no hope, hope came. when i thought there was hope, no hope came.will i be ever satisfied? yes. By the power of God, cause human can never be satisfied. gg.

anywayz, pray that tomorrow i will pass the test. thank God that yesterday bbq was a great success. :))

xoxo - j

Learned

2011-01-25T18:50:00.002+08:00

The most important thing that i have learned after this incident is....I should cherish every opportunity that i had.

I should have

1. tried mega drop :(
2. asked my dad whether i can study other things
3. join other ministries in zion
4. make frens in commerce (so that i can get better marks) :p

well. thank God i have not much regrets. :p because im a person who do what i like if i can. LOL
Now, im thankful I have

1. Great people/frens in Labuan and in Perth
2. My dad
3. My family
4. Got an iphone
5. NDS
6. A lappy that still works
7. A printer n speaker that served their purpose well
8. Bought many accessories, clothes and things that i like
9. Watched many nice movies in cinema
10. been in projectionz
11. Learned something in commerce first year

I should have not

1. buy too much things :p
2. find song wen bing o.o
3. act like im so easy going but im not :p

But overall, most things went well. Thank God.

xoxo J

im broke

2011-01-23T02:11:00.000+08:00

a friend posted in on fb. now this song is stucked in me. lol

J

off to my dreams :))

2011-01-22T13:09:00.002+08:00

Well, im setting rules for this year ady..

Vision: Become A nerd, geek and noob for a year. All i need is just ONE year.

Mission not impossible.

1. facebook on laptop only on saturdays and sundays.
2. On laptop when only necessary.
3. Go library everyday.
4. Make friends with all nerds and geeks.
5. Frequently ask questions about studies.
6. Learn to ignore all modern stuffs. Think like an italian. Nice food, nice studies, nice classical music.

xoxo J

letter to my dear dad

2011-01-21T00:54:00.002+08:00

i wonder how did we end up like this. LOL. I literally have to send an email to my dad, who is living next to my door only. In order to explain the situation. although most agreed that, non-face to face contact can reduce arguments and misunderstandings... but nobody knows it all. :)

But this is who i am... under most circumstances... i will talk negative things, but actually meant for the good... e.g. i wana spend all my money, which is impossible because im super stingy. o.o and i keep as much as i could.

After the major decison i made, i know the real storms and real challenge come only after the decision was made. Thus, Jennifer Tee.. the battle has yet begun. Be ready, eat, pray and love like you never did before. :)

Ok, the exciting letter...lol... this was the forte part of the letter.

***Last year, i could not decide after the unacceptable score and just follow the flow. Everyone told me i should do this and do that, this good that no good, nobody asks what i want. I wanted to ask a few times last year, but the situations, the people and everything...i ended up just following the flow. Most important, i still cannot decide.

In conclusion, science was never easy, but i thank you and thank God for giving me another chance. :) Although I cannot promise 100% out of this chance. ***

God, i leave everything unto your hands again. Amen.

xoxo J

ngek

2010-12-31T01:17:00.002+08:00

was suppose to write smtg nice here but i kinda forgot ~ nvm.

today will just update how am i. owkay, it's the last day of 2010.

and im still suffering cough and dust allergic reactions on my nose, eyes and ears which means im still having sleeping difficulties and am not having a great time back home. it's been a month !!!

im finally 3 hours in my car lessons and 5 more to go.
i somehow found out some old frens spm results through the net. lol.
hang out with long lost driel and stan on christmas day in mab house mel n kha how went too
went out with kha how and li xiang and jaja. only im fat, everyone became thinner. lol.
havent swam since i came back, cant find my swim suit bought one on9 lol. 2 weeks to reach here, well at least haih
i started learning piano with the japanese old lady and will start the 2nd lesson tomorrow
im in love with piano n classcial musics
i still miss perth
i somehow miss my own cookings
somehow this holiday i connected more with my biu gor
i somehow broke and gotta change the aussie money to malaysian ringgit haha
i fail to follow the bible routine given by zph, too hard to follow for me. haih speaking of commitment. omgosh
i still miss science sometimes, but it's better to move on...i believe as human we have to look at the bigger picture. :))
i got a new watch... it looks... hmm....young ! gift from my aunt. since i baked the cake, she said she wana gv smtg, but the cake was in return of the food she made for the chinese end of winter celebration. lol.
i wan a new converse shoe, seriously, BADLY wants one. so tempted to buy online.
i wan to buy a blender back to perth, so i can start my diet, blend all the vegies.
im eating non stop n i suspect i have eating disorder, im feeling fat+no exercise.

i need some sleep. xoxo J

how did i get here

2010-12-30T00:16:00.002+08:00

i often have these feelings theis year. that is.... how did i get here?? I used to love to read, to learn a new thing everyday, love my family, loving my life.

now everyday i hope i din make this decision. and i know the moment i tell my dad this. this will be serious. i wana move, i really feel like moving, i wana try something new, i want to get my life back. the me, where everyday is so productive that i cant stop laughing and smile even when im stress. this year is like shit, everyday i feel like dying.

God is it too late to try and start over life again?? Please God, please, please tell me it's the right time and right choice right now. i know i chose to study foundation in perth, and i chose to get a bad result, i chose and it turn out what i am today.

but will u give me a second chance to prove myself? can i do it? i dont know. i know it is real this time because this thought did not come suddenly, it's always there.

xoxo J

not so happy

2010-12-18T00:30:00.002+08:00

well..... not so happy cause. i just dun reli like commerce right now, cause my bro kept talking bout handling over the business to me and my sis....which he didnt even give me the chance to say no.
and he was like ~ talking to himself.

im grateful u gave me the money to study and have a good life and all. but, not really feel like, i wana work in a company and have a great husband.... live with ONLY him at home. me and him. how lovely.

and i still a bit of crush on a guy which i dont know much about.

my grades suck to the end. which im not too sure why, cause im living life the same, other than the thing that i dont really have friends in commerce, other than my housemates. And i dun really intend to, some of them gave a feeling of materialistic and not my style feeling. but i dun really mind it but it's just like im not feeling that im living the way i want life to be, and it does make me wana cry sometimes. i should have taken food science, but the slathering kinda scares me, anywayz, im ok with commerce....i think

im just not ok with the people that im meeting, well some of them not all ~ eg my brother, mr.song, management group, vietnam moi, lynn chan........ alll the weirdoes some of them really sucks. including me, now i feel like i suck and my life suck.

and everyone is trying to be nice with me and telling or indirectly saying "it's ok, shits happen" "you can do it" "well done" .... which now i find that i dont have a friend to share everything with, because people that i know are just being VERY polite.... they dun wana know how i feel, my story and my weaknesses.......... they just say "everything is gona be ok" ... which double proves and confirms that my communication skills suck and i have no heart to heart fren. :(

xoxo God help me overcome the thoughts and difficulties ... show me the light soon please !

in the end

2010-12-16T23:47:00.003+08:00

yeah, in the end i didnt make sandwiches.. but fried some mee hun and did some common cookings ~ i dun know, i was never close with anyone in church i guess, i did not know how did i go through, mayb that's why i slowly pulled off in high school. no one was really there, and im not there for anyone..........

Hope 2011 would be a better year for me....cause when i think back on what have i really achieved on this year.... other than being on projections which put me on more use to the church, there's nothing much. I cant even name one more, which is quite saddening .... life has stucked since form 5, it din get any better.

God, im always sure to trust you, when will there be light? I always feel that im all alone in doing things, eg decisions to take what subject, what to buy, where to go....although it's true that you have to make choices by urself in life, but why aren't there more incidents, more happenings?more and more? or im asking too much, i dont know.

new year resolutions?? im so hopeless that i cant really write them down, but i bought a diary before im back home, mayb i could write in the diary if i have the mood to do so.

May the blessing and spirit be with me, no matter i if i die or i achieve some in the near future.

xoxo - J is in the depressed mode. cause her frens seem busy with life, and she can never connect with her family members cause there was never a connection, and some how deep down, she doesnt wan a connection anywayz. how cruel and sad but true. Amen.

how does it feel

2010-12-16T13:18:00.003+08:00

If u ask me how does it feel to study a subject again. By all means and reject what others say, i think, it feels great. LOL.

Cause it's like taking foundation where you learn all the old stuffs again plus adding something you somehow neglect. and i think it is quite interesting.

May this time be the last time i take accountings in my life. haha. cool joke. But anywayz, i would like to keep this matter, LOW i mean really~ low profile. although it's on my blog. well, i have to let mr.blog know right?

My minds are open, my heart is ready, i will not be stumble upon others judgement, i am what i am. What done has been done. i shall not shatter like a trampled rose and glow like the morning sun. :))

Mayb i should just take literature.

anywayz, gona prepare for tonights caroling, it's kinda one of the big event of the year in this house, which i dun know why.

xoxo J is making hundreds of sandwiches again. lol.

if only

2010-12-15T22:12:00.002+08:00

If only air planes in the sky are like shooting star, i could really use a wish right now. :D

naaa, one wish is never enough...human beings needs more than that.... now my face is worrying me, there are like more and more holes...and black heads never stops.

and this hols.... im having this weird feeling that, i dun feel like im living the life i want right now. all these sucks.

damn. wish i never had to use those words but. damn.

xoxo J

xoxo J

trust and obey

2010-12-15T01:35:00.001+08:00

well results are out. some not up to expectation eg econs. some just perfectly gg-ed. but what to do, no use mourning over spilled milk anywayz. i did what i could do ady, no regrets, no mourn, no blaming.

xoxo J puts everythg unto God's hand amen.

little things in life.

2010-12-14T19:52:00.004+08:00

you know how the simplest thing in life can make you cry. today it's all about relationships. it's not easy holding up a relationship ..esp after so long mayb 40 50 60 years. as i go through the stage of growing up, i truly see all pain and sufferings many had in broken relationships and trust. and it's mostly only at the stage of being couple. lol. well, what more broken marriages. the disappointed people like parents and child, the need for love from family, the want and needs that differ.

holding up a relationship is seriously not as easy as it seems.

When i saw the ring on my dad's finger this morning, it really makes me wana cry when i saw it. haha. my mum died for so long and he's still wearing the ring. he must have really loved her. :))

ouhhh, the ring of all promises. When can i get one??

apart of all the dates that i remember... im sure my dad also have i think, although he din say. but im sure he remembers all the little things such as the first day they met, the first baby, their anniversary, how they made each other smile and this and that. :(( at first, it must have really really hurt, i mean after she died. Imagine all the memories you have with someone you love is now only left with you.

i dun blame anyone that this house look a bit broken, cause i know, everyone is doing things in their own way and have things that we prefer to keep to ourselves.

Im watching australia next top model now woohoo.

xoxo - J - live life at best with God. The walk of life is impossible without guidance from people that God has placed around me. I have made sooo much mistakes already even im with God, thus, cant imagine life without you dear father Lord God. LOL.

ouh

2010-12-13T23:34:00.004+08:00

forgot to mention why im suddenly into 郑宇成 again. cause he acted in a chinese movie with michelle yeoh ~~ yo malaysian wei. hahhaaha..... as usual he acted as someone who is very chi qing, means very romantic and into love.

he had acted in many korean sad movies. such as 我脑中的橡皮檫, 悲伤电影 and 雏菊....

all also very nice. :)) he has been portraited as a man that really likes the girl in all movies, and he handsome and i think this kinda loyal to love character really suits him. wei, please like him in fb ~~ !!! cause i created a fan page for him some time ago (i duno if it is this year or last year)

recently updated a bit on the fan page. hehe. which i should have done long ago.

in real life, as i read his profile i think he is a great person to like too. well other than good looking. :p

Korean sad movies rock. yeah
xoxo J

suddenly

2010-12-11T23:56:00.001+08:00

I think im back to in love with 郑宇成 hahahaha
he so cute and handsome and i just love him

muacks muacks
he's my man. lol

xoxo J- hope i stop coughing as soon as possible !

snowy snow i love you so

2010-12-11T01:44:00.003+08:00

Christmas is around the corner ~~~ cant wait !!! Love the snowy feel and christmas trees ~ reminds me much of harry potter first book. haha. I used to really love harry potter, now also still ok but not as much.

However back to earth, im not in harry potter and malaysia does not have snow ! LOL. so does perth, how sad is that. Christmas can be about love, look at the picture, how pretty !

anyways, labuan kinda bored. zzzz ntg to do, just normal stuffs. but this is life i guess. u go here u go there u do this u do that. u wana do this and u cant do that.

anyways as i started to write my sis phone rang and im not in the best mood to write about christmas lol.

last but not least, i am collecting christmas trees ~~ hope to post them on fb real soon. hehe

xoxo Jennifer is sick again... but everytime come back sure sick de la, sure is allergy plus some illness lol. night night

2010-11-13T02:09:00.002+08:00

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

compassion

2010-11-12T23:39:00.003+08:00

You know that. I blog more when im stressed? lol.

More about me. Go away if not interested. lol. not a really must read post.

I guess i figured it out. We have different lifestyles. Starting from i listen to music when i study, and most people dont. And ending from, most people give good comments/advices when they care about you and i find it annoying when someone does that-i mean it depends on how you deliver it and the contents. But yeah :p. And me, i only say good/well done/continue the good work. no more. In a sense, lack of communication skills lol. Hmm, i dont like being discussed cause it reminds me of bad stuffs, yet dont deny i gossip a lot too. lol.

I can say stuffs about myself, but if feels wrong coming out from others' mouth. I have a lifestyle of a broken person, yet live as a lovingly and passionate christian who loves God and accepts His great blessings. I am sad and hurt most of the time but doesnt show, my face has lost it's ability to show sadness, cause it callous and numbed. I enjoy being alone at times. I like bread v much but it's sad cause i remember how my mum used to love it. I like reading stories and listening stories. I imagine a lot !! I like to learn many stuffs yet want to live a normal life. I like love stories. I like to write when im down. I drink both coffee and tea. I USED(in the past) to love red as it reminds me how i told my mum i love it, and i asked her what was her fav colour, when she said green, i said then i will like green too, but she said "everyone has their different favourite colour". Also, someone talked bad about red so i refrain from liking it and HOWEVER im back to loving red (cause i cant really like other colour, it's just not me). My nail polish reminds me of my mum too. I stopped watching HK series since form 1 because my mum passed away and no one is watching it ady (my dad is kinda an english guy lifestyle with a chinese food taste bud). I respect my family and love like a good daughter, but as christian, it has stated that, cultures and traditions should not be the reason of you reaching out to others. Yes, family is not my priority/was my priority, but now God is.

write till here first.

xoxo Jennifer

judge

2010-11-12T13:13:00.004+08:00

judge (jj)

1. To form an opinion or estimation of after careful consideration: judge heights; judging character.

2.
a. Law To hear and decide on in a court of law; try: judge a case.
b. Obsolete To pass sentence on; condemn.
c. To act as one appointed to decide the winners of: judge an essay contest.

3. To determine or declare after consideration or deliberation.
4. Informal To have as an opinion or assumption; suppose: I judge you're right.

I have no rights to say what is wrong and what is right. I only can show the ways that God think is right, to show in love and care. Yet, im not a perfect human being, and obviously nobody is.

Yet, same old phrase. Do not look things in the outer layer but look at the inside. Do not be quick to judge but quick to understand.

xoxo J

Resolving

2010-11-10T19:25:00.005+08:00

Well, Yan Hua talked about how she reasoned her understanding of work ethics to her colleague last friday. Where her colleague did this job half and do another job at the same time. In a sense, she is multitasking with a fairly slow speed. While Yan Hua on the other hand have nothing to do, so she look at what is this girl doing and roam a while around her so she could figure out. Pop! she thought that she could do the other job that was done half. yeah but suddenly that lady freak out !! "saying can you stop starring at me?" Yan Hua goes "Excuse me?" Then, they keep on "discussing" and ended with a talk about work ethics. Which their perspectives on it differ much.

Well....now today this instance. am i yan hua or the girl ? May be my ways are different but thats how i do it in the past=me. I always tell you about something that i think is inappropriate that you have done to me, yet i dont say the reason and always ended like that conversation never happened and we moved on. O.O

Maybe i should have said, you hurt my feelings. because you said this this and that. Which if u ask me what is it, i dont really remember cause i dont say it on the spot(and if u know me, im a super forgetful person). I am such a chinese!! where people hide feelings and don really share. oh yeah, normally i would hint a bit here and there that you should not say this about me. But people normally dont get it. o.o

Hints once, hints twice then BOOM. (normally i give people 3 chances-dont ask me why 3 i also dont know).

I dont know, it always ended with me being nice to the person. saying that it's a joke only la or go silly around. Which is so weird.

Right way should be we should talk and discuss. But i dun like putting too much feelings on these kinda stuffs. LOL. which i prefer just stating this and that, rather than saying what you did wrong. Because i have no right to say it's wrong, it can be normal for you, but not normal for me. :/

These kinda psychological thing, very hard to say. It is in the grey area/ambiguous. Which is why it is very complicated. For example, you think being stung by a bee is the most painful thing on earth. But to me, being stung still hurts but it's in the bearable stage. I think being stung on the heart is worst part of life. Just why, depths are very different. The level of tolerance and a lot more varies. :)) and those mostly are based on past experience, which obviously, we have different past, culture and many other stuffs.

xoxo J

gossip girl. xoxo

2010-10-30T01:10:00.006+08:00

Gossip, judging, or mouth should i say. These are some of the very important yet easiest to slip through stuffs in life.

esp as christians, you are actually not allowed to do so. Yet :p

James 3:10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

If you are the smartest of all, so what?

If you are the prettiest of all, so what?

If you are the best if all, so what?

King Solomon was the richest man on earth at one point of time, yet he thirst for God and still question life.

If you call yourself christian and priotise something over God. this is so what, you cant enter the promised land of eternity.

If you gossip nor judge all the time and not repent. this is so what, fire forever.

1 Peter 3:10  For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue  from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

Malachi 4:1

"Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them.

The Lord will come with fire. He will ride on the wings of a storm to punish those he is angry with.¹⁶ By fire and sword he will punish all the people of the world whom he finds guiltyâ€”and many will be put to death.

Mark 9 48. In hell, the worms that eat them will never die, and the fire that burns them will never be put out.

May nothing destroy you and the relationship with God.

Do not look things in the outer layer but look at the inside. Do not be quick to judge but quick to understand.

Jesus declares that the person judging will be judged (v. 1) because judging assumes a divine prerogative; final judgment belongs to God alone, and those who seek to judge others now will answer then for usurping God's position.

One example would be, as you see i dont really enjoy the company of my family members. Most people are quick to judge, they always say, you are not "xiao shun", you are not honouring your parent and family members, you are rude to your dad. First, do you know my home tradition? do you know the relationship of me and my dad? second, do you know my dad?

But you never asked WHY. even if you asked, i cant say.

But you dont know. You dont know the pain that i have to go through. All the sins that have been done in that family. All the secrets i cant tell anyone. All the hurt i have to bear each day.

My point here is, there is a reason for most things. And you need not know everything. Careful to not fall into the trap of sin while fulfilling your curiosity.

You can say that i am running away but who are you to judge. Only God alone can judge. I will try my best to help it recover but first, let me go, i seriously need a space for meself. :') . And i am sure God is with me because i can feel it here, inside.

Lastly, fear God, Ecclesiastes 12:7 and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. If you know the bible, God made us from dust, and when we die, we go back to the earth.

xoxo J

weird

2010-10-28T12:43:00.002+08:00

haha. yesterday we have been talking bout weird people.

then i thought, actually who is the weirdest friends? and the answer is unexpectedly... CHURCH friends. haha. they are the weirdest of all.

i guess it's because in every friendship/senior relationship or anything. There is a third person in the relationship, who is God himself. So it's like very weird. Church is the only place, where i have many one day friends, or seasonal friends...where if you go on an outing together, you talk with each other, if u dont...you act like you dont know each other....then when you are in the same cell, wa look like very close, later different cell...act like not so close....zzzz !!! and sometimes they be nice cause they want you to come to church, lol, not that they want to, but they have to. then someone else would come follow up you.... there is an ambiguous stuff here which is the genuine of the friendship....is it true ?? is it real? or you would just act like you dont know me later... zzzzz.

In conclusion, i would say church is the weirdest place to find good friends...

lol. weird but true.

xoxo J

ecclesiastes

2010-10-25T21:34:00.003+08:00

God speaks, look at the verse today..in

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 he says that.......

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

These are written by the richest man on earth on that time King Solomon. If the richest dont feel content even, how can human content ever be fulfilled. That is only by God. :D

xoxo J

speaker

2010-10-25T21:23:00.002+08:00

logitech x-530... As delightful as it sounded.... i dont think i like the new speaker. there is just too much noise behind it....it hurts my ears. zzzz. It is ok for soft songs but for louder songs, it is just.....hmm.... too loud?? too much base and a bit noisy.

it makes you have headache and i am seriously thinking of whether to return it... but i dont know how...cause, u know..jayson help me bought it....0.0

haih...should have just got 29 like the others. it would have less problem with the bass. :(

but now, i think i would just live with this i guess....lol

xoxo J

say

2010-10-25T01:26:00.002+08:00

i know i am always in pain, and i have been seeking healing-ness every now and then in these years...some can be talked about some cant be.... today i wana say about the things that you cant say....

I am grateful to God that, most of the problems and pain that i am suffering right now, i can say it out loud..... i can say it to the people that care about me and are willing to help me ....

In many cases, they cant say out their pain, because there are deep secrets behind it....For example, you are adopted. How can you just say it out loud like no one's business? they dont even know who their true parents are...yet when they knew the truth they can say nothing about it....
cause if you do say it out loud to your present parents that u knew, they might think that they are doing not enough and wonders why do you need to know.....

thus it is important to understand that, having to grief for the lost of the dear ones is also a blessing.... some people dont even know what to grief for.....

I thank God, that, i had my time with my dear one, we shared happy moments, we had our time on earth, just that we got to MOVE ON to heaven, we will meet again in heaven....

from the day that..... i finally understood that, how sad it is to have a friend on earth, but not the same friend in heaven for eternity.....

I pray that one day God's healing hand will heal the grief in me, and guide me to look at it in a another angle. That i wont be that vulnerable and look forward the days in heaven with Jesus and fellow people.
I pray that i will meet the people that i have met on the earth God made, in heaven as well. I wan to see all of you there. This is my passion for Christ.

xoxo - J

elva

2010-10-18T00:35:00.002+08:00

9.错的人

词曲:吴克群

明知道爱情并不牢靠但是我还是拼命往里跳
明知道再走可能是监牢但是我还是相信只是煎熬
朋友都劝我不要不要不要拿自己的幸福开玩笑

但是做人已经那么累假惺惺的想要逃
(at that moment i really got this feeling)

在爱里连真心都不能给这才真正的可笑
(so true)

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分但是我还奋不顾身

可能在爱里面这样算笨
可能永远没有所谓永恒
但是我不愿放弃这里面一点点可能宁愿笨也不想要悔恨

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲太容易让自己沉沦太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人明知道这不是缘分但我还是奋不顾身
我太笨明知道你是错的人明知道这不是缘分但我相信有点可能

having it applied.

2010-10-17T15:41:00.002+08:00

it is much easier having said "it's just another test given by God, God just hardens people heart as there is a great plan behind it" than having it applied.

But Connie Podesta(from createoneleadercast which you can google) once said

"You are on stage every single day of your life. Everyone you come in contact with is your audience, they are watching you, seeing how you will influence them."

it's no use for me to go over little problems, because when you are on stage, you may make mistakes, and there are 3 importants points i got from her that day....

1. No separating business and personal life
2. Personal life impacts business life, perhaps more than anything else in your life.
3. The choices you make from time you leave your office will determine more about the success of your career than anything else you do in life.

another thing i quoted from her is...which i deliberately din copy down that day and i still remember...lol joking la !! how could i remember everything....yeah took it from this website..http://markjcundiff.wordpress.com/2010/05/07/connie-podesta-chick-fil-a-leadercast/ where it explains more on the points Connie said on that day.....anwyayz... the following points are applicable in my life right now :))

Happiness is result of doing right things, making right choices, serving others!

Character

Character=leadership This what leadership is all about, it is not about how you are doing when things are going good!
No, instead, character is revealed when what you had planned is so far from your current reality that you can hardly breath, this is when you are revealed for who you truly are at the core.

Public Speaking

85% list public speaking as #1 fear.
You are a public speaker every day by the life you live before the audience you live before each day.
Your life is your speech, you life tells your story, it paints a picture for all those around you to see each day.
What does it tell them about you?

xoxo J